I just got to my hotel in Madrid and all the guilt I was feeling for leaving is gone! I am super excited. Madrid is fucking beautiful!
I’m sitting at the airport waiting for my flight and I’m supposed to be feeling excited. Instead, I have this huge knot in my stomach. I am leaving during a hard time for my family. My grandmother is on Hospice. My godfather’s nerve damage is getting worse. And my sister’s godfather’s 17 year old son was arrested for a horrible crime. I just feel so guilty for leaving. Yesterday my family had a small going away dinner for me, and before then I went to see my grandma to say goodbye. I just couldn’t stop crying. When I finally got the dinner I was over an hour late. I parked the car and cried for an hour and refused to get off. I know I have no control on who get’s to live and for how long, so I just have to accept things that are out of my control. But damn do I wish my grandma could hold on for me to properly say goodbye. I hope that all these feelings of guilt and sadness go away once I arrive in Madrid.
This is a critical part of sex positivity that tends to be overlooked. Let’s celebrate empowering amazing sex and the choice to not have sex, or only have certain kinds of sex.
I leave to Spain in less than 24 hours!!!!
I find it interesting how society doesn’t care when the media sexualizes women, when men sexualizes women, when school and the government sexualizes women. But the second a woman is in control and sexualizes herself willingly it’s wrong and disgusting.